Emergency Safety Announcement Issued:

[SP-USER]

An emergency safety announcement was issued today regarding the sudden onslaught of rape and pillaging of the AKAI MPC 2000XL.

A spokesperson for the Preservation of Classic AKAIs told us "We're advising all AKAI 2000XL units to be especially on their guard." This comes after it was discovered that the CF drive fitted to the AKAI MPC 2000XL is one of the very few available that actually function correctly on the beastly SP-808.

"Filthy Beasts, the lot of 'em, no shame whatsoever!" One particular 2000XL shouted after discovering she'd been pillaged by an SP-808 she thought was her friend.

"He told me I had wonderful pads, said I had great timing and would I like to date him?" another rather shaken 2000XL claimed. "It's true the SP-808 is the filthiest of all beat-making devices and you can't blame a girl for having her pads tickled like that. But be careful, they only want you for one thing and even the female SP-808s are just as bad!"

Another 2000XL told us "It was terrible, he was showing-off how long he could stretch his Vari-Pitch when all of a sudden the lights went out. He'd pulled the power cord and proceeded to steal my CF Drive!"

Sadly the practice shows no sign of ending any time soon, so if anything is to be taken from this annoucement it is to be on your guard if approached by anything with "SP-808" printed on it. The Roland SP-808 has a reputation for being the filthiest box on the block, and this latest debacle only goes to strengthen that reputation.

We welcome our readers to place a vote on the poll above.

[SP-USER]

I can tell from almost sixty views and just one vote that y'all thought it was as funny as I do

[TGN]

It is goddamn violent and cruel to kidnap a MPC for its CF-Card-Reader. But sp-808s all around tha world have to live!
And you can install other (cheap) CF-Card- or even SD-Card-Reader from the market into the MPC and sell it again. So the poor MPC becomes happy again and you are not liable to prosecution for gear abuse/rape.

[SP-USER]

Well said mate, that's exactly the way I see it as well!
It's not as if those whining 2000XLs won't be able to find another drive

Just a thought, but can you imagine laying out all that cash for an AKAI MPC 2000XL in order to lay your hands on the drive, only to discover the original owner had already profited from the original drive and had fitted a replacement before selling?

Ouch ...