So 3 people order pizza in the last 20 minutes the shop is open. One to a dorm, one to a hotel, one to an apartment. Its been a busy night, and at the table where the pies are cut, we are out of barbeque sauce, buffalo sauce, and ranch cups.. and what does dude at the dorm order? All 3 of course, as well as honey-chipotle cups which we have to fill ourselves. I get to the dorm, call the number.. no answer.. so I leave a message telling the guy that non-residents aren't allowed past the entrance so if he wants his pizza he needs to come down. I go inside and ask the girl at the front desk if I can ask a resident to go knock on the guy's door for me. She tells me some nonsense like "No because we can't be sure that he lives here," because apparently the system owns her. Anyways, I go outside and ask the guy who's about to walk in if he will go knock on the guy's door and send him down. He said sure. As I'm waiting, I call the customer at the hotel to apologize for running late and let them know I'll be there in about 15 minutes. She says some ridiculous shit like "well... we just got married tonight and we're really exhausted, can you be here sooner?" So I'm thinking, sarcastically, sure let me speed across town on Saturday night, but I say "I'll do my best." The dorm guy comes out. No tip. As I'm walking back to the car I hear someone yell "Hello!" Its the foriegn student who went up to knock on the customers door. He yelled hello how most people would yell hey. What a great mistranslation. He tells me that nobody is in that room, and I realize and explain how the customer got the phone message and made his way outside before dude got to his door. Then on to the hotel. I pull up and see a car with writing on the rear window, "JUST MARRIED" and under that, "GET R DONE!" and there's a string of Mr. Pibb cans tied to the bumper. I call the bitchy bride, telling her that I just parked and will meet her in the lobby. She asks if I can come up to the room. I tell her I'll see if I can. She says some insanity like "i hope you can because the wedding party is at this hotel and we don't want them to know." I've never heard a more depressed-sounding newly-wed. Guy at the front desk said go ahead, with an attitude that let me know that he's glad to be done dealing with this inbred wedding party tonight. I get to the room and the mouth-breathing husband opens the door, takes the receipt to sign and somehow managed to take at least 90 seconds to sign it, failing the math. He added 3 to 29.fifty-somethin and got 32 even. The bride, who I never saw, told him to check the pizzas and make sure the ranch cups were there. They were face-up in the first box. The doofus opens each box, looks at each pizza, and then asks me if the ranch is in there. I get back to my car and call the next customer to let him know I'm on the way. Thick foreign accent. Great. I have nothing but love for all ethnicities, but some don't understand the way we tip in this country. They don't know that without tips we get paid less than minimum wage, which is already disgustingly low. I get to the apartments, which are on the far side of town and I had delivered to 4 times tonight. Their gates weren't working properly and the motion sensors wouldn't open them until the car was just inches away. Part of the hood was under the gate before it would open, I shit you not. Every word of this is true. I get to the building, and park. What's between myself and this customer's door? A basketball court with a young couple sitting at half-court, meditating. I walk across, clearly disturbing their sanctuary, and give the door a few knocks. Dude paid me with exact change, wearing an American flag tank top.
Quite possibly my best delivery.

Wow. Just. wow.
:/

The merikan dream n action.

ug, that sucks, i hate shit like that. I used to deliver pizzas too in Indiana... never quite that level of bullshit there but I have some stories. My boss would make us drive way further than the other pizza places in town, thinking that going the extra mile would benefit us in the long run, but he was wrong. Got a prank call for ten pizzas 25 miles away and when I arrived I saw two little kids peeking from behind the front curtains laughing at me, little bastards... There was a trailer park out in the middle of nowhere and we were the only business within 20 miles that would deliver there, never got tipped once.

You said it E!

I can relate Kel. Prank orders are the worst. Not only do they waste time, they waste food.

I just try to see the humor in the bad deliveries. We can't keep things from making us angry, but how long we stay mad is up to us.

PIZZA THEMED TAPE GO ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I've been working on it! Beatza! The CDs will be sharpied up to look like pizzas too. Not sure if the pizza theme will go into the music. I do eventually want to write a song about being a pizza guy tho.

My friend told me this story of something that happened at the apartment complex I was staying in at the time...

A lady was working at another store and they were slow and volunteered to help out at my friend's store which was busy, so they were eager to get her over there. She makes a delivery to where I was living, which has these little indoor sections in each building which lead to 4 apartments, 2 upstairs, 2 downstairs. In the building where she was supposed to make a delivery, there were a couple of teenagers sitting on the steps and claimed that was their pizza. She said okay and quoted the price and they said they weren't going to pay for it and pointed a gun at her. Then they said something along the lines of 'it's nothing personal, but take your pants off'. So she took her pants off then they sent her on her way. Luckily she left her car running so they didn't get her keys. She gets back to the store then reports the robbery. They asked her how much the kids stole and she said something around 130 dollars. She was fired for leaving the store with more than 20 dollars even though she had no lock box because she volunteered to help out that night. So in the span of about 1 hour:

She was robbed
She was humiliated by returning to the store without pants
She was fired

And all this on a night she volunteered to help out another store.

And yeah, this was Papa John's.