warning: long note!

you know, euclid, i've been making music for over 20 years now, and my relationship to it has changed, and changed back so many times, that i've really learned a lot about myself and my creativity.

there was a point when i was much younger when i was trying to "make it" and was probably pretty close at a certain level, but then realized the stress of it all was killing me. so I backed away and this lead to a long, non-musical lull.

there was another point where i thought my other creative outputs were more important, so I stopped making music almost entirely for a couple of years.

but what i learned from all that was that the itch to create music remained, albeit buried below other stuff. not some fire-in-the-sky calling or whatever, more just that some people can express themselves with music, and others don't. i am someone who can, so that's a natural part of who i am....not acting on it has detrimental impact in a low-level way.

now that i'm 10,000 years old, i really appreciate my music for what it brings me - bursts of non-linear creative fun.

i totally understand WHY i had points where i stopped making music, but now am so glad that I returned to it.

over the 20 years i've learned that making music is all about hills and plateaus. on the hills you are learning new things and pumping out new pieces. on the loooooong plateaus you feel like yr just treading the same ground over and over. which is frustrating, and leads to the stuff you've described.

but this is a natural part of the process....you can't climb any hills without hitting some flat ground too. and often these times are just laying the ground-work for your next hill to climb.

for my part, i've actually always really enjoyed the beats you put up, and thought yr comments on the forum are some of the more cogent. you've battled, you've dished out sarcasm, you've changed yr name (heh).

maybe you should consider what you want music to bring to your life, rather than how your stuff measures up to other things (even your own standards), or yr aesthetic or whatever, you dig?

there's nothing wrong with being a hobbyist musician that never gigs or releases shit if you are benefiting from the fun of production. and often cutting out the expectations can lead to total freedom on that side (and ironically, can lead gigging, releasing shit and breaking into new creative territory).

whatever yr decision, i respect ya. I just wanted to put my experiences out there cuz i feel like maybe i've been thru some stuff yr describing, and i EVENTUALLY learned some shit from it and am so glad i did.

i'm sure like everyone else on here, if you wanna pm me to discuss, yr welcome to. and if not - sorry again for the long note!

peace bro. thx for being a standup guy in the forum (esp in the early days!). this place benefited from your thots and chunes.

dont do it broooo.never stoppp.but i have a feeling u gonna miss it ull be back.

I haven't been a part of the forum for too long, but the community is unlike many others, and you're a pretty significant part of that. The vibe of this place makes it pretty inviting to share one's creativity. So whatever you ultimately decide, I appreciate your words and def the music!

Now regarding being unhappy with your own music. I'm with fauna. I've been dabbling in this for what seems like forever (shit, it's been roughly 15 years, WTF?). Through all the "why am I doing this?", I finally realized that I have a simple need to create. It took a long time to shake the desire for it to be something more, but now I accept that "it just is." And that in itself is hella liberating.

Anyways, hope you stick around... but I understand, we all have our paths we must follow.

Some Tao...

"The sage places himself after and finds himself before,
Ignores his desire and finds himself content."

pretty enuff said...
you've got my mail man

if you wanna retire - do it - but for no longer than 7days.
then I'll be glad to see a new thread in freedom of speech section

Dude... don't do it man. I mean take a break or sth. but never, ever give up bangin those 303 pads, man. Your style def was unique!!! I love that shit... say: we love that shit .... and as always it hurts pretty much if love goes away... Ever thought about the fans?
Wasting talent is a baaad thang!

...fauna's speakin the real truth...

Quote myself: "music is a mothafucka!"

move back to Seattle.

It'd be good for you. ha.

If anything, don't leave the forum homie. Your knowledge and guidance is appreciated around here. You are a small part of a much bigger picture, making beats or not.

Like I said, move back to Seatown.

Yo Euclid...

I'm gonna have to build on what Fauna and ModuLR have already said man...

As a creative individual, sometimes it's hard to gauge wether or not you are being successful at your art/craft... and a lot of times we get wrapped up trying to quantify our creative path. This is a mistake man... being creative is the ends and the means... it is successful in it's very execution. Creative/artistic individuals live to create and express themselves, and that is something inside you that isn't going away. So unless you're going to focus all your efforts on some other form of expression, which very well may be the case, I would highly recommend you keep your gear around and consider just taking a breather.

You got a gift man... and the world needs more creative exchange of ideas, not less... it's what keeps us relevant to the rest of the universe.

Putting out a collection of your music is a great idea.

now I wish I had said something a little more insightful....

LOL

simultaneous postings!

...the change of scenery suggestion is definitely on point.

if you quit making beats, i understand, but at least get a guitar or little keyboard to bang on sometimes

I like your beats man.

see ya round

Layin off the pads the pads for a while is all good. I just don't get why you gotta leave the forums?

Thanks guys, I hear what your saying so I'll take a break and see how if feel about it after a while. I'll still stop by the forums to hear all the good music everyone makes.

dude just take some time man we all need a break every once in awile but dude when i think of you just quiting making music and cutting out man .......i just cant see you doing somthing like that man your a cool dude man im glad i met you we have mad shit in c ommen man (emb 4 life haha) naw but real man i hope you come back man peace bro...